


polyester

by November_Clouds



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Kuroo Tetsurou, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Kozume Kenma, Happy Ending, Kozume Kenma Needs a Hug, Kozume Kenma in Love, Kozume Kenma is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Oblivious Kuroo Tetsurou, Other, Pining, Songfic, Unrequited Love, just take it, no beta we die, not specified but thought i'd put them here, or more of an... ambiguous ending?, tagging is hard, what do i pUt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26131120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/November_Clouds/pseuds/November_Clouds
Summary: Love's hard when the one you love doesn't see you.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	polyester

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!!
> 
> I highly recommend listening to [Heather](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPUg7n8-M6o) by Conan Gray before reading this. I tried my best to capture that song in this fic, and I think it'll make a lot more sense if you listen to that first
> 
> EDIT: Forgot to link [this animatic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uUTzmDxWjI) that this was partially based off. Some similarities, but not many.
> 
> Title taken from Heather by Conan Gray

Kenma shivered next to Kuroo and wrapped his arms around himself tighter, picking up his pace to try and escape the freezing December cold. Kuroo had forced him to stay late and toss to him, and now he was paying the price.

“You cold, Kenma?” Kuroo asks him, and before he can nod, he’s handing his spare Nekoma jacket to him. Kenma blinks and slides it on, reveling in the warmth.

“What about you?” Kenma asks, eyeing Kuroo’s bare arms. His gaze lingers for a few seconds longer than necessary.

“Nah, I like the cold,” Kuroo responds easily. “My house is close by anyways.” He smiles at him, and Kenma can’t help but be drawn in by his beautiful grin. “Besides, it looks better on you than it ever did on me.”

~

They’re leaning against a wall after volleyball practice, both sweaty and tired. Kenma’s on his phone, enjoying the silence when Kuroo pokes him in the side. He looks up at his friend and immediately regrets it.

Kuroo’s eyes are on a girl walking by, with long, curly black hair and the bluest eyes Kenma’s ever seen, even bluer than the sky on a cloudless summer day. She walks gracefully, with a distinct bounce in her step, and when she passes them, she winks at Kuroo, like she knows he’s watching. Kuroo whistles under his breath and Kenma’s heart nearly stops at the other boy’s words.

“She sure is a sight for sore eyes after being around sweaty guys all week, isn’t she?” Kuroo’s gaze follows her as she walks across the room. “Isn’t that foreign exchange student from America? What was her name again?”

“Heather.” Kenma’s voice comes out hoarse, and he clears his throat loudly. “Her name is Heather.” Kuroo’s expression is one of _want_ and he looks absolutely mesmerized. Kenma feels his heart shrivel up and die inside of him.

“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Kuroo finally says. He slaps Kenma on the back playfully. “Don’t wait up.” 

Kenma nods numbly and pushes off of the wall, jamming his hands in his pockets. When he looks back, Heather is laughing at something Kuroo said. Kenma’s chest squeezes painfully.

~

Kenma slammed his bedroom door open and flung his phone at his bed, ignoring the _thud_ as it hit the floor instead. He sat down hard at the foot of his bed and grabbed tightly at his chest, face screwed up in pain. His phone _ding_ ed from where it lay on the floor and he covered his ears roughly in a feeble attempt to drown out the sound of Kuroo texting him over and over about the _amazing_ girl he met.

Kuroo could date whoever he wanted. He wasn’t a five year old that needed to be babied. He could make his own decisions, do whatever he wanted. He was even graduating next year, soon to go off to college on his own. But despite all that, the look in Kuroo’s eyes that he sent _her_ made Kenma want to punch a wall. 

Because he wanted it to be _him_.

_He_ wanted to be the one to make Kuroo laugh. _He_ wanted to take him on cheesy dates and wear fancy clothes. _He_ wanted to hold his hand and kiss him. _Kenma wanted to be the one that Kuroo was in love with_.

Kenma’s hand brushed against his collar and he realized he was still wearing Kuroo’s jacket. He ran his fingers over the slick red material. He paused at Kuroo’s name, embroidered in white. _He gave me this jacket, didn’t he?_ He scowled and buried his head in his arms. _It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just polyester, isn’t it?_ Hot tears slipped down his face. _Why would he ever love_ **_me_ ** _?_

~

Friday night, Kuroo sends a text to Kenma.

**[7:18] kuroo:** kenma

 **[7:18] kuroo:** kenma my date is tonight

 **[7:19] kuroo:** what do i wear???

Kenma takes a deep breath in and reminds himself not to be selfish. _Kuroo deserves to be happy_.

**[7:20] You:** you’ve got that black jacket right

 **[7:21] You:** wear that

**[7:22] kuroo:** nah i gave it to her

**[7:23] You:** ????

**[7:23] kuroo:** it was a pickup line

 **[7:24] kuroo:** seemed like a good idea at the time

 **[7:24] kuroo:** you know, like “i guess we’ll have to meet up again so you can get it back to me”

**[7:26] You:** oh

How many other people had Kuroo given his jackets to?

**[7:28] kuroo:** nvm i asked shibayama

 **[7:29] kuroo:** thanks though!

Kenma cries himself to sleep.

~

The Monday after the date, Kuroo had come to practice with the brightest smile Kenma had ever seen on him. The other guys jeered at his happy expression, and Kuroo announced smugly to the team that he managed to get a second date.

Two weeks later, he brings her by after practice, and Kenma finally gets to meet the girl he’s envied for so long.

“Kenma, this is Heather,” Kuroo introduces. His fingers are intertwined with Heather’s, and she laughs as he reaches around with his other arm to sling it over her shoulder, trapping her in a bear hug. “Heather, Kenma.”

Kenma feels very cold, and this time it’s not because of the snow.

Heather smiles warmly at Kenma, and her eyes twinkle with laughter. She draws her hand up her jacket sleeve _(Kuroo’s jacket, not hers)_ and she nods at him. “It’s nice to meet you!” Her Japanese is perfect and her face is perfect and _all of her is perfect, what chance did Kenma ever think he had? He wasn’t even_ ** _half_** _of what she was._

The three of them talk for fifteen more minutes before Kuroo has to leave to catch the bus home, and Kenma is disappointed to find that Heather is quite possibly the nicest person he’s ever met. As much as he wanted to resent her, she was like an angel in disguise, listening sincerely to Kenma’s opinion and even complimenting his hair.

(But when they part ways, Kenma watches her go and can’t help but wish she were dead.)

~

During volleyball practice, Kuroo spends more time on his phone than off it, and everytime it sings his notification sound, his face lights up in a dopey grin, and Kenma knows that he’s texting Heather again. When Kuroo’s more laidback on the team and lets missed spikes go unpunished, Kenma knows that he’s happy, a lot happier than he was before.

(And to them, it didn’t even matter that they were two high schoolers in a whirlwind romance, on a boat that was sure to sink, because it was _their_ romance, and that was all they needed.)

Kenma knows this, but he can’t stop the intruding thoughts from coming.

_I wish that was me._

_I wish I was Heather._

~

Kenma’s at the bus stop waiting for the 5:30 when he sees Kuroo in the distance, running towards him. He takes a step back before Kuroo can run him over, but he pauses when he sees Kuroo’s face. He’s been crying.

“Kuroo?” Kenma asks softly. “Everything okay?”

Kuroo jerks his head from side to side, and when he doesn’t say anything else, Kenma turns back to his PSP. He’s been friends with Kuroo long enough to know he needs space when he’s upset, so space he gives.

When Kuroo gets on the bus with him, Kenma has to hide his surprise. They didn’t live in the same part of the city, but they still went to each other’s houses often enough that their mothers called them by their first name. Still, it was uncommon for Kuroo to come over without asking first. 

Despite the early hour, the bus is almost empty, and the only other passengers are a mother with two sleeping children and a businessman with a black briefcase laid across his lap. The two of them sit in the back of the bus, Kenma on his PSP and Kuroo staring straight ahead. Kenma doesn’t rush him and waits patiently for Kuroo to tell him what was wrong.

Fifteen minutes and a level and a half later, Kuroo shifts his legs and starts staring out the window.

“She broke up with me,” he whispers, voice coming out in a soft croak. “Said she found someone else.”

Kenma whips his head to look at Kuroo, who hasn’t moved. _Heather_ broke up with _Kuroo?_ Perfect, blue sky, summer nights Heather? He fights down the growing joy in his chest and instead puts an unsteady hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. He thinks for a moment, trying to find the right words.

“You were too good for her anyway,” he says firmly, trying to convey his feelings in the simple words. “You deserve someone better.”

Kuroo finally turns to face him and gives a shaky smile. “Thanks, Kenma,” he whispers. “You always know what to say.”

Kenma nods and turns back to his game, but he can’t ignore the blush that comes to his cheeks. _It might just be polyester, but you like_ **_me_ ** _better._

**Author's Note:**

> the ending was rushed, but the original ending wasn't this happy, so... yeah  
> please leave comments and kudos!
> 
> (And I know Kuroo isn't his first name, but I vibe with it more, so it'll stay)


End file.
